Divorce is something that not everyone has to face, but for those who do, it can be really rough.
All couples face difficulties at some point in the road, but for some, they face even bigger challenges than others. In circumstances of disagreement, it is easy to let small things appear great, but oftentimes, it distorts the situation into something it's not. I think in these situations it's importatnt to try extremely hard and remember communication, and how to work with your spouse to improve things.
In other circumstances, divorce is sometimes the best answer... When problems arise that conflict with the views or values of the other spouse, it creates a lot of difficulty. If they cannot work through them together, or are willing to learn and change together, sometimes it is best for them to go their separate ways...
Divorce is never something that a person wants to consider, and I believe that it is always important to fight to keep the marriage. You chose that person at one point for a reason, and if you can find it in yourself to get back to that, I think that a lot can come from that.
In whatever circumstance that life gives us, it is also always important to invite God into our choices, and seek His will and counsel.
Saturday, December 12, 2015
Parenting
Parenting is hard.
-Responsibility
-How the child can appropriately assert themself in various situations
-The ability to forgive others and also how to seek forgiveness
-How to take healthy breaks and get back to work/task
It doesn't come with a manual, instructions, or "What to do if _____" scenarios. It's made up largely of hit-and-miss, and learn as you go opportunities.
Children look to adults as their examples, and depending on how they are raised will determine what type of adults they will become.
That's a lot of pressure!
But breaking it down can make it a lot easier..
When you think about it, in order to be a functioning adult, a child will need to learn a few things first.
Parents need to teach:
-How a child can contribute to society
-Responsibility
-How the child can appropriately assert themself in various situations
-The ability to forgive others and also how to seek forgiveness
-How to take healthy breaks and get back to work/task
If you think about it, those five things are what make up almost all of our daily interactions and daily tasks. To be able to successfully cope with those things, an adult can adapt well, and can succeed in their daily activities.
Will there be moments of error? Of course! But there will also be plenty of moments of success.
Fatherhood
This is a more difficult topic for me to talk about...
Fatherhood is an essential part of the family lifestyle, and it is well known the importance of having a strong father figure for children as they grow up.
I think what is incredible about fatherhood is that it isn't necessarily defined by blood. Personally, I have several men who I look to as a father figure and that influence my life in tremendous ways.
Not everyone has the opportunity to have a father who participates actively in their child's life. Circumstances vary wildly, and the causes are different, but what's important is that we do the best with what we have been given.
Heavenly Father has chosen that title for a reason. He is the creator of the Universe, and is in charge of everything, and yet he chose the title of Father. This is truly the greatest example that can be given to us. We have His example to look to, and to pattern our lives in His image.
No matter what situation we're in right now, it can be molded and changed as we pattern our lives and habits after those that our Heavenly Father has given us. I know that as we follow His example, we'll find more fulfillment in our lives, and find more happiness in the long run.
Fatherhood is an essential part of the family lifestyle, and it is well known the importance of having a strong father figure for children as they grow up.
I think what is incredible about fatherhood is that it isn't necessarily defined by blood. Personally, I have several men who I look to as a father figure and that influence my life in tremendous ways.
Not everyone has the opportunity to have a father who participates actively in their child's life. Circumstances vary wildly, and the causes are different, but what's important is that we do the best with what we have been given.
Heavenly Father has chosen that title for a reason. He is the creator of the Universe, and is in charge of everything, and yet he chose the title of Father. This is truly the greatest example that can be given to us. We have His example to look to, and to pattern our lives in His image.
No matter what situation we're in right now, it can be molded and changed as we pattern our lives and habits after those that our Heavenly Father has given us. I know that as we follow His example, we'll find more fulfillment in our lives, and find more happiness in the long run.
Communication
This. This right here is the topic that I could go on and on about. (Kind of funny, really...)
To understand communication, let's first take a look at how it is broken down.
Inflicted Tone: 35%
Non-Verbal Signals (Facial expression, hand movement, etc.): 51%
Total- 100%
To understand communication, let's first take a look at how it is broken down.
The words we use: 14%
Inflicted Tone: 35%
Non-Verbal Signals (Facial expression, hand movement, etc.): 51%
Total- 100%
I think that these percentages are really interesting, because how is most of our communication shared today? Digitally. We text each other, write a message over social media, update our friends through status updates and other digital means, and more. I know I feel more than a twinge of anxiety whenever I have to actually call someone on the phone... "What am I supposed to say? What if it goes to voicemail, and I have to leave a weird awkward message?"
It's become so simple to type out the perfect response to something, and think that it conveys the optimal message... But look at those percentages again. Communicating through words only conveys 14% of our communication.
Think about it. How many times have you or someone you know been offended or hurt from a misunderstood text message? I know that I've both sent confusing texts, and been on the receiving end of misconveyed meanings.
Communication is essential in our relationships. As nice as it is to send someone a text saying, "Thinking of you!" How much more is flt when you call someone, or better yet, go see them?
We can reach the 100% communication when we interact with others in person. It's something that is becoming less frequent now, but is still vitally important.
The "s" word.... Stress
We all have those days when even the smallest thing irritates the heck out of us.. Where we feel like we'll burst at the seems if even the smallest thing is out of order.
Stress is a natural thing that builds up in our lives, and is influenced by a variety of things. Social aspects, school, work, kids, bills.... The list goes on and on. Sometimes it seems like life is just out to get us, and that there is no end in sight.
What's important, however, is that we can appropriately deal with the stress factors in our lives and not let it damage our relationships with those closest to us.
I want you to think about a swimming pool... specifically the edges of it. When you have a large swimming pool, there is something called "coping" on the edges of it. That's the strong, smooth edge along the borders. The rest of the pool may be tiled or otherwise lined, but there is always the smooth edge of the coping there at the top.
So what is the purpose of this pool coping? Well, for starters, it's made of super strong material that can hold a lot of weight. It's also very smooth, as to protect from injury as you get in and out of the pool.
Every family is different and has a unique dynamic that can also change on a regular basis. I want to compare that to the water within a pool. It has shallow, peaceful areas, and it has deeper areas of higher stress. But surrounding that pool is a strong, smooth coping layer that can help us in our times of stress. We can grab on to it, we can pull ourselves up, or we can even just look to it and feel a little more centered in our lives.
I think that it's incredible that the word "cope" can be used when thinking about stress, (To be able to cope with our stress.) And it is also the word that is used to describe the edge of the pool.
We all have hard times in our lives, but as we communicate, work with those around us, and forgive others, I think that the stresses of life are a little more manageable than the rest.
Stress is a natural thing that builds up in our lives, and is influenced by a variety of things. Social aspects, school, work, kids, bills.... The list goes on and on. Sometimes it seems like life is just out to get us, and that there is no end in sight.
What's important, however, is that we can appropriately deal with the stress factors in our lives and not let it damage our relationships with those closest to us.
I want you to think about a swimming pool... specifically the edges of it. When you have a large swimming pool, there is something called "coping" on the edges of it. That's the strong, smooth edge along the borders. The rest of the pool may be tiled or otherwise lined, but there is always the smooth edge of the coping there at the top.
So what is the purpose of this pool coping? Well, for starters, it's made of super strong material that can hold a lot of weight. It's also very smooth, as to protect from injury as you get in and out of the pool.
Every family is different and has a unique dynamic that can also change on a regular basis. I want to compare that to the water within a pool. It has shallow, peaceful areas, and it has deeper areas of higher stress. But surrounding that pool is a strong, smooth coping layer that can help us in our times of stress. We can grab on to it, we can pull ourselves up, or we can even just look to it and feel a little more centered in our lives.
I think that it's incredible that the word "cope" can be used when thinking about stress, (To be able to cope with our stress.) And it is also the word that is used to describe the edge of the pool.
We all have hard times in our lives, but as we communicate, work with those around us, and forgive others, I think that the stresses of life are a little more manageable than the rest.
Intimacy and Fidelity in marriage
Sex is a normal and natural thing, especially in marriage. Two people can come together and truly get to know the other in the most intimate way possible.
It's a way for two people to connect, grow, love, and learn together, and should be a wonderful and sacred thing for the two of them to discover and experience together.
It is important to note that every relationship is different, and therefore, every sexual relationship will be different. There is no perfect system to it, and it is something that can be developed through honest communication between the couple.
Sometimes, as a Latter-day Saint, sex is a hard topic to discuss. It's usually brought up just to remind you that you need to wait until marriage, and it always seems to have a dirty or "bad" sense to it.... Then, you get married, and suddenly it's encouraged and supported. I can tell you first hand how confusing that can be...
When thinking about the way that the world views sex and intimacy, and then thinking about my future family, I know that I want to raise my family in a home where open communication is encouraged.
I don;t want the topic of sex or anything else to become a "taboo" subject that can only be talked about in low voices or in private. I want my children to be able to come to me with any questions they have, or any concerns about something in their lives. I want to be able to help them learn and grow, and not to feel awkward about bringing up a subject that could be considered sensitive or even controversial at times.
I know that I may have a different opinion than other people, but I strongly believe that this is an important thing to do to widen understanding, and do a lot of good in the long run.
It's a way for two people to connect, grow, love, and learn together, and should be a wonderful and sacred thing for the two of them to discover and experience together.
It is important to note that every relationship is different, and therefore, every sexual relationship will be different. There is no perfect system to it, and it is something that can be developed through honest communication between the couple.
Sometimes, as a Latter-day Saint, sex is a hard topic to discuss. It's usually brought up just to remind you that you need to wait until marriage, and it always seems to have a dirty or "bad" sense to it.... Then, you get married, and suddenly it's encouraged and supported. I can tell you first hand how confusing that can be...
When thinking about the way that the world views sex and intimacy, and then thinking about my future family, I know that I want to raise my family in a home where open communication is encouraged.
I don;t want the topic of sex or anything else to become a "taboo" subject that can only be talked about in low voices or in private. I want my children to be able to come to me with any questions they have, or any concerns about something in their lives. I want to be able to help them learn and grow, and not to feel awkward about bringing up a subject that could be considered sensitive or even controversial at times.
I know that I may have a different opinion than other people, but I strongly believe that this is an important thing to do to widen understanding, and do a lot of good in the long run.
Monday, November 16, 2015
The big commitment
You've done it! You've found that special someone, and successfully tied the knot!
Now what?
Before marriage, we all would like to think that as soon as you tie the knot, it's as easy as one, two, three, and you're done... Unfortunately, however, it's not that simple.
Marriage is a give and take, and those first few months can be some of the hardest.
It's all about learning to be with someone and compromising. In class, we discussed how even the little habits take some getting used too. Does the toilet paper roll go over or under? How long does it usually take your spouse to get ready to leave? What side of the bed will you sleep on?
These little things, and many more will be the subject of discussion. But that's the beauty of marriage. You have that time to learn and grow together.
This is a shorter blog post, but that doesn't make it any less important. Marriage is an eternal union, and something that will teach us more than anything else in this life. Learning to compromise and do things as a team is an incredible blessing and opportunity, and one that I look forward to experiencing one day.
Now what?
Before marriage, we all would like to think that as soon as you tie the knot, it's as easy as one, two, three, and you're done... Unfortunately, however, it's not that simple.
Marriage is a give and take, and those first few months can be some of the hardest.
It's all about learning to be with someone and compromising. In class, we discussed how even the little habits take some getting used too. Does the toilet paper roll go over or under? How long does it usually take your spouse to get ready to leave? What side of the bed will you sleep on?
These little things, and many more will be the subject of discussion. But that's the beauty of marriage. You have that time to learn and grow together.
This is a shorter blog post, but that doesn't make it any less important. Marriage is an eternal union, and something that will teach us more than anything else in this life. Learning to compromise and do things as a team is an incredible blessing and opportunity, and one that I look forward to experiencing one day.
Throw away the glass slipper!
We all know the story of Cinderella.... How she wanted nothing more than to go to the ball, and to see the Prince. She ached for it so badly that miraculously, her fairy God-mother appeared and granted her wish! She was able to go to the ball, and connect with her Prince Charming! But as the clock struck 12, she had to run away, and left nothing with the prince but a glass slipper; sending him on a quest to find the perfect match, until finally, they were able to be together and live happily ever after.
It's such a beautiful story....
But it's full of lies.
Many of us were raised to believe that there was one perfect match for us in this world, and how we had to go out and find them! We grow up watching princess movies, and somehow in the end, everyone ends up with the perfect match and lives in bliss for the remainder of their lives!
So, after watching these movies, we create a list...
Growing up, my list kind of looked like this:
-Dark hair
-6'4"
-Funny
-Perfect smile
-Cooks
-Green eyes
-Eagle scout
-Good career
-Must love cats
And many other little personal details....
Is it bad to have a list? Not exactly... But what happens when someone doesn't match up with a bullet point? What if that glass slipper that you've created doesn't fit exactly to a potential relationship? Hasta la vista to Bachelor #1. And Bachelor #2, and #3, and so on.
In today's society, we try and look for perfection in a potential spouse. That glass slipper has to fit perfectly in order for us to get our happily ever after! If not, our lives will be filled with sadness and disappointment.
But will it?
Who on this Earth is perfect? No one. Not a single human being alive can call themselves perfect.
And let's reverse this list thing for a moment. Do you think that you will fill every bullet-point that someone has created for their perfect spouse? Probably not.
To speak on a somewhat deeper note, which one of us has lived a perfect life? If someone comes to us with a past that isn't "up to par" with your idea of perfection, how will you react? This life is full of trials and mistakes. Is it up to us to be the judge of someone for a past misgiving?
Christ completed the Atonement in order for us to become clean from past mistakes and to become better... And through the Atonement of Christ, we can unlock our true potential.
And what is it that we are truly looking for in a relationship? Perfection? Where's the journey in that? What is the point in forming a union and having nothing to work on?
No, we marry potential!
The journey together is when you'll find those things on your list. Maybe not physical attributes, but emotional and spiritual. You grow together to reach your truest potential.
That's the ultimate goal.
So, please. Throw away the glass slipper already! You're not gonna find a perfect fit.
Instead, look for someone who helps you. Look for someone who will love and support you through life's hard challenges! Look for that person that you can grow with and that between the two of you, you both can achieve your eternal potential.
It's such a beautiful story....
But it's full of lies.
Many of us were raised to believe that there was one perfect match for us in this world, and how we had to go out and find them! We grow up watching princess movies, and somehow in the end, everyone ends up with the perfect match and lives in bliss for the remainder of their lives!
So, after watching these movies, we create a list...
Growing up, my list kind of looked like this:
-Dark hair
-6'4"
-Funny
-Perfect smile
-Cooks
-Green eyes
-Eagle scout
-Good career
-Must love cats
And many other little personal details....
Is it bad to have a list? Not exactly... But what happens when someone doesn't match up with a bullet point? What if that glass slipper that you've created doesn't fit exactly to a potential relationship? Hasta la vista to Bachelor #1. And Bachelor #2, and #3, and so on.
In today's society, we try and look for perfection in a potential spouse. That glass slipper has to fit perfectly in order for us to get our happily ever after! If not, our lives will be filled with sadness and disappointment.
But will it?
Who on this Earth is perfect? No one. Not a single human being alive can call themselves perfect.
And let's reverse this list thing for a moment. Do you think that you will fill every bullet-point that someone has created for their perfect spouse? Probably not.
To speak on a somewhat deeper note, which one of us has lived a perfect life? If someone comes to us with a past that isn't "up to par" with your idea of perfection, how will you react? This life is full of trials and mistakes. Is it up to us to be the judge of someone for a past misgiving?
Christ completed the Atonement in order for us to become clean from past mistakes and to become better... And through the Atonement of Christ, we can unlock our true potential.
And what is it that we are truly looking for in a relationship? Perfection? Where's the journey in that? What is the point in forming a union and having nothing to work on?
No, we marry potential!
The journey together is when you'll find those things on your list. Maybe not physical attributes, but emotional and spiritual. You grow together to reach your truest potential.
That's the ultimate goal.
So, please. Throw away the glass slipper already! You're not gonna find a perfect fit.
Instead, look for someone who helps you. Look for someone who will love and support you through life's hard challenges! Look for that person that you can grow with and that between the two of you, you both can achieve your eternal potential.
A help meet for man
We live in a very competitive era. Who can be better at something than their neighbor? Who can walk away with the most to show? Who is the best?
The topic of such competition can vary widely, from sports, to cooking, races, to innovation. But today I'm going to focus on the age old question- "Who's better- man or woman?"
I'm sure as you read that, an answer automatically pops into your head. Whether it be male or female, I'm sure you also have validation for that opinion.
"Well," you may reason, "Men are naturally stronger than women, so obviously they are superior."
Or, you may think something like this,
"Women can give birth! Let's see a man handle that!"
Both thoughts are valid opinions, and have some pretty convincing evidence to support them. We can all think of examples of heavy weight male champions; and we have all heard of the pain statistics that a woman goes through during birth.
But let's take it back a little bit... Okay, back a lot... Back to biblical times, and creation in general.
In the book of Abraham we read, "And the Gods said: Let us make an help meet for the man, for it is not good that the man should be alone, therefore we will form an help meet for him." (5:14)
Ah, ha! There's proof! Woman was created to help man! God said it Himself!
For almost my entire life, I've read that verse and made a conjoined word of "Help-meet." I figured it was biblical language and so I just formed the obvious definition as "a person who helps" and continued on in my studying.
Recently, I was surprised to discover a definition for "meet" in the Bible Dictionary. "Meet: Fitting, proper, qualified, suitable."
Wait, what?
Look at those perfect words. Fitting. Proper. Qualified. and Suitable.
All of those words are synonymous with equal.
For something to fit, it has to be equal to the corresponding object. Not too big, not too small. Equal. If not, there can be no bond formed! It will be uneven, broken, or incorrect.
All of these defining words show the harmonious nature of both man and woman.
Yes, man was created first, but soon after, woman was created in the equal place by his side. Not in the front or behind him.
I've heard it said before that there was a specific purpose to God taking a rib to create Eve. (Note: The following is opinion alone, not doctrine.) He could have taken virtually any part of Adam to create her, and yet he chose a rib. Why? To demonstrate from the very beginning that she would be at his side. He didn't take from the head or from the feet, suggesting either that she was more or less important, but something that would place her forever and equally next to him.
The topic of such competition can vary widely, from sports, to cooking, races, to innovation. But today I'm going to focus on the age old question- "Who's better- man or woman?"
I'm sure as you read that, an answer automatically pops into your head. Whether it be male or female, I'm sure you also have validation for that opinion.
"Well," you may reason, "Men are naturally stronger than women, so obviously they are superior."
Or, you may think something like this,
"Women can give birth! Let's see a man handle that!"
Both thoughts are valid opinions, and have some pretty convincing evidence to support them. We can all think of examples of heavy weight male champions; and we have all heard of the pain statistics that a woman goes through during birth.
But let's take it back a little bit... Okay, back a lot... Back to biblical times, and creation in general.
In the book of Abraham we read, "And the Gods said: Let us make an help meet for the man, for it is not good that the man should be alone, therefore we will form an help meet for him." (5:14)
Ah, ha! There's proof! Woman was created to help man! God said it Himself!
For almost my entire life, I've read that verse and made a conjoined word of "Help-meet." I figured it was biblical language and so I just formed the obvious definition as "a person who helps" and continued on in my studying.
Recently, I was surprised to discover a definition for "meet" in the Bible Dictionary. "Meet: Fitting, proper, qualified, suitable."
Wait, what?
Look at those perfect words. Fitting. Proper. Qualified. and Suitable.
All of those words are synonymous with equal.
For something to fit, it has to be equal to the corresponding object. Not too big, not too small. Equal. If not, there can be no bond formed! It will be uneven, broken, or incorrect.
All of these defining words show the harmonious nature of both man and woman.
Yes, man was created first, but soon after, woman was created in the equal place by his side. Not in the front or behind him.
I've heard it said before that there was a specific purpose to God taking a rib to create Eve. (Note: The following is opinion alone, not doctrine.) He could have taken virtually any part of Adam to create her, and yet he chose a rib. Why? To demonstrate from the very beginning that she would be at his side. He didn't take from the head or from the feet, suggesting either that she was more or less important, but something that would place her forever and equally next to him.
Sunday, October 11, 2015
Cultures and Traditions
Take a second and think about Thanksgiving. What's on the table? Are there decorations around the house? Who all is with you? Chances are that you're thinking about a Thanksgiving that you have already experienced. Either from your childhood, or more recently.
It's amazing how much of our lives are shaped by traditions and cultures. During childhood, we are influenced by the traditions of our parents, and grandparents. These could include holiday observance, special recipes for foods, or something as simple as whether the toilet paper roll will go over or under. During these first years of our lives, we are molded and shaped by these familial traditions, and they become a part of who we are as individuals.
Fast forward to young adulthood, and you typically have a span of time as an individual. Perhaps in college, a person is faced with time to figure out what their interests are s an individual, and what traditions they will keep.
Then comes marriage. The unity between two people is a monumental time, and also a time of serious change. Not only do two people come together, but two families are in a sense forever connected afterwards.
Marriage is a time when traditions and cultures are recreated. Two people have been raised and molded by their families of origin, and now they have come together to form a family of creation. Where they will have their own children, and create their own traditions.
It's an amazing cycle that repeats itself over and over.
In your family of creation, you can decide on values and traditions from both families that you'd like to keep, but also aspects that you would like to leave out. It's yours for the designing, and there isn't a set way to do it, or not to do it. That's the wonderful thing about families. They are all unique and individual, and are taken one step at a time.
It's amazing how much of our lives are shaped by traditions and cultures. During childhood, we are influenced by the traditions of our parents, and grandparents. These could include holiday observance, special recipes for foods, or something as simple as whether the toilet paper roll will go over or under. During these first years of our lives, we are molded and shaped by these familial traditions, and they become a part of who we are as individuals.
Fast forward to young adulthood, and you typically have a span of time as an individual. Perhaps in college, a person is faced with time to figure out what their interests are s an individual, and what traditions they will keep.
Then comes marriage. The unity between two people is a monumental time, and also a time of serious change. Not only do two people come together, but two families are in a sense forever connected afterwards.
Marriage is a time when traditions and cultures are recreated. Two people have been raised and molded by their families of origin, and now they have come together to form a family of creation. Where they will have their own children, and create their own traditions.
It's an amazing cycle that repeats itself over and over.
In your family of creation, you can decide on values and traditions from both families that you'd like to keep, but also aspects that you would like to leave out. It's yours for the designing, and there isn't a set way to do it, or not to do it. That's the wonderful thing about families. They are all unique and individual, and are taken one step at a time.
Family Systems theory
Howdy howdy,
So when you read that title, "Family Systems Theory," what comes to mind? Maybe you've heard about it before, maybe not. But whatever your background may be on the subject, I figured I'd talk a little bit about it today...
This theory was introduced by Dr. Murrey Bowen, who explained that individuals could not be understood individually. That to understand human nature, we had to examine family interaction.
When I first heard that, I thought that it was pretty interesting, but had my doubts. How could we not understand someone as an individual? But as I thought more about it, I realized that of course you can't. Human beings aren't meant to be solitary creatures. We are born into a family, and then raised until an age where we can take care of ourselves, and also find another to share our life with and create a new family. It's the circle of life here on this blue world we call home.
So, naturally, to truly get a grasp of human nature in it's purest form, we have to take a look at the family.
So what exactly is a family? Well, according to Bowen's theory, a family is a system composed of many subsystems and roles. According to relationship agreements, there are rules to follow and members will act in a certain way according to their agreements.
So you have your parental system, your marital system, and many other little sub-systems involved. And everyone plays an integral part to complete and add to the family system overall. But as with anything, the roles will change and flow as time passes. A change in employment, change in overall health, or perhaps moving into a new house will change roles and authorities in the Family.
What's most important to remember, though, is that the sum of the whole is greater than each individual part.
Take a second and imagine your favorite flavor of cake. Imagine that there's one right in front of you. It looks perfect, doesn't it?
To get that cake, there's a balance of ingredients that are put together and prepared in order to make that cake. You wouldn't just imagine flour or icing, you imagine all of it together in harmony.
There are many different ways that a family can be defined. Not everyone is married, or has children, but we all have connections with either extended family or even close friends. Familial bonds go deeper than a title or blood relation, and it's amazing to think about how big our families truly are in the big picture.
So when you read that title, "Family Systems Theory," what comes to mind? Maybe you've heard about it before, maybe not. But whatever your background may be on the subject, I figured I'd talk a little bit about it today...
This theory was introduced by Dr. Murrey Bowen, who explained that individuals could not be understood individually. That to understand human nature, we had to examine family interaction.
When I first heard that, I thought that it was pretty interesting, but had my doubts. How could we not understand someone as an individual? But as I thought more about it, I realized that of course you can't. Human beings aren't meant to be solitary creatures. We are born into a family, and then raised until an age where we can take care of ourselves, and also find another to share our life with and create a new family. It's the circle of life here on this blue world we call home.
So, naturally, to truly get a grasp of human nature in it's purest form, we have to take a look at the family.
So what exactly is a family? Well, according to Bowen's theory, a family is a system composed of many subsystems and roles. According to relationship agreements, there are rules to follow and members will act in a certain way according to their agreements.
So you have your parental system, your marital system, and many other little sub-systems involved. And everyone plays an integral part to complete and add to the family system overall. But as with anything, the roles will change and flow as time passes. A change in employment, change in overall health, or perhaps moving into a new house will change roles and authorities in the Family.
What's most important to remember, though, is that the sum of the whole is greater than each individual part.
Take a second and imagine your favorite flavor of cake. Imagine that there's one right in front of you. It looks perfect, doesn't it?
To get that cake, there's a balance of ingredients that are put together and prepared in order to make that cake. You wouldn't just imagine flour or icing, you imagine all of it together in harmony.
There are many different ways that a family can be defined. Not everyone is married, or has children, but we all have connections with either extended family or even close friends. Familial bonds go deeper than a title or blood relation, and it's amazing to think about how big our families truly are in the big picture.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Who am I?
Hello!
My name is Melanie Skidmore, and if you're reading this, you've stumbled across my blog!
I'm originally from the wonderful state of Oregon in the Pacific Northwest of the United States. I'm 22 years old, and am currently studying at Brigham Young University-Idaho.
I have many interests, some of which include reading, writing, filming and editing video, (check out my YouTube channel here! Though I haven't uploaded anything new in about 2 years...)
I'll be using this blog to express my thougts and feelings related to my Family Relations class that I am currently taking.
The subjects I write about may vary a little, but will focus around the importance of Marriage and Family, and how we can successfully balance our lives to include the different aspects of marraige and family life,
Until next time!
-Melanie
My name is Melanie Skidmore, and if you're reading this, you've stumbled across my blog!
I'm originally from the wonderful state of Oregon in the Pacific Northwest of the United States. I'm 22 years old, and am currently studying at Brigham Young University-Idaho.
I have many interests, some of which include reading, writing, filming and editing video, (check out my YouTube channel here! Though I haven't uploaded anything new in about 2 years...)
I'll be using this blog to express my thougts and feelings related to my Family Relations class that I am currently taking.
The subjects I write about may vary a little, but will focus around the importance of Marriage and Family, and how we can successfully balance our lives to include the different aspects of marraige and family life,
Until next time!
-Melanie
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