You've done it! You've found that special someone, and successfully tied the knot!
Now what?
Before marriage, we all would like to think that as soon as you tie the knot, it's as easy as one, two, three, and you're done... Unfortunately, however, it's not that simple.
Marriage is a give and take, and those first few months can be some of the hardest.
It's all about learning to be with someone and compromising. In class, we discussed how even the little habits take some getting used too. Does the toilet paper roll go over or under? How long does it usually take your spouse to get ready to leave? What side of the bed will you sleep on?
These little things, and many more will be the subject of discussion. But that's the beauty of marriage. You have that time to learn and grow together.
This is a shorter blog post, but that doesn't make it any less important. Marriage is an eternal union, and something that will teach us more than anything else in this life. Learning to compromise and do things as a team is an incredible blessing and opportunity, and one that I look forward to experiencing one day.
Monday, November 16, 2015
Throw away the glass slipper!
We all know the story of Cinderella.... How she wanted nothing more than to go to the ball, and to see the Prince. She ached for it so badly that miraculously, her fairy God-mother appeared and granted her wish! She was able to go to the ball, and connect with her Prince Charming! But as the clock struck 12, she had to run away, and left nothing with the prince but a glass slipper; sending him on a quest to find the perfect match, until finally, they were able to be together and live happily ever after.
It's such a beautiful story....
But it's full of lies.
Many of us were raised to believe that there was one perfect match for us in this world, and how we had to go out and find them! We grow up watching princess movies, and somehow in the end, everyone ends up with the perfect match and lives in bliss for the remainder of their lives!
So, after watching these movies, we create a list...
Growing up, my list kind of looked like this:
-Dark hair
-6'4"
-Funny
-Perfect smile
-Cooks
-Green eyes
-Eagle scout
-Good career
-Must love cats
And many other little personal details....
Is it bad to have a list? Not exactly... But what happens when someone doesn't match up with a bullet point? What if that glass slipper that you've created doesn't fit exactly to a potential relationship? Hasta la vista to Bachelor #1. And Bachelor #2, and #3, and so on.
In today's society, we try and look for perfection in a potential spouse. That glass slipper has to fit perfectly in order for us to get our happily ever after! If not, our lives will be filled with sadness and disappointment.
But will it?
Who on this Earth is perfect? No one. Not a single human being alive can call themselves perfect.
And let's reverse this list thing for a moment. Do you think that you will fill every bullet-point that someone has created for their perfect spouse? Probably not.
To speak on a somewhat deeper note, which one of us has lived a perfect life? If someone comes to us with a past that isn't "up to par" with your idea of perfection, how will you react? This life is full of trials and mistakes. Is it up to us to be the judge of someone for a past misgiving?
Christ completed the Atonement in order for us to become clean from past mistakes and to become better... And through the Atonement of Christ, we can unlock our true potential.
And what is it that we are truly looking for in a relationship? Perfection? Where's the journey in that? What is the point in forming a union and having nothing to work on?
No, we marry potential!
The journey together is when you'll find those things on your list. Maybe not physical attributes, but emotional and spiritual. You grow together to reach your truest potential.
That's the ultimate goal.
So, please. Throw away the glass slipper already! You're not gonna find a perfect fit.
Instead, look for someone who helps you. Look for someone who will love and support you through life's hard challenges! Look for that person that you can grow with and that between the two of you, you both can achieve your eternal potential.
It's such a beautiful story....
But it's full of lies.
Many of us were raised to believe that there was one perfect match for us in this world, and how we had to go out and find them! We grow up watching princess movies, and somehow in the end, everyone ends up with the perfect match and lives in bliss for the remainder of their lives!
So, after watching these movies, we create a list...
Growing up, my list kind of looked like this:
-Dark hair
-6'4"
-Funny
-Perfect smile
-Cooks
-Green eyes
-Eagle scout
-Good career
-Must love cats
And many other little personal details....
Is it bad to have a list? Not exactly... But what happens when someone doesn't match up with a bullet point? What if that glass slipper that you've created doesn't fit exactly to a potential relationship? Hasta la vista to Bachelor #1. And Bachelor #2, and #3, and so on.
In today's society, we try and look for perfection in a potential spouse. That glass slipper has to fit perfectly in order for us to get our happily ever after! If not, our lives will be filled with sadness and disappointment.
But will it?
Who on this Earth is perfect? No one. Not a single human being alive can call themselves perfect.
And let's reverse this list thing for a moment. Do you think that you will fill every bullet-point that someone has created for their perfect spouse? Probably not.
To speak on a somewhat deeper note, which one of us has lived a perfect life? If someone comes to us with a past that isn't "up to par" with your idea of perfection, how will you react? This life is full of trials and mistakes. Is it up to us to be the judge of someone for a past misgiving?
Christ completed the Atonement in order for us to become clean from past mistakes and to become better... And through the Atonement of Christ, we can unlock our true potential.
And what is it that we are truly looking for in a relationship? Perfection? Where's the journey in that? What is the point in forming a union and having nothing to work on?
No, we marry potential!
The journey together is when you'll find those things on your list. Maybe not physical attributes, but emotional and spiritual. You grow together to reach your truest potential.
That's the ultimate goal.
So, please. Throw away the glass slipper already! You're not gonna find a perfect fit.
Instead, look for someone who helps you. Look for someone who will love and support you through life's hard challenges! Look for that person that you can grow with and that between the two of you, you both can achieve your eternal potential.
A help meet for man
We live in a very competitive era. Who can be better at something than their neighbor? Who can walk away with the most to show? Who is the best?
The topic of such competition can vary widely, from sports, to cooking, races, to innovation. But today I'm going to focus on the age old question- "Who's better- man or woman?"
I'm sure as you read that, an answer automatically pops into your head. Whether it be male or female, I'm sure you also have validation for that opinion.
"Well," you may reason, "Men are naturally stronger than women, so obviously they are superior."
Or, you may think something like this,
"Women can give birth! Let's see a man handle that!"
Both thoughts are valid opinions, and have some pretty convincing evidence to support them. We can all think of examples of heavy weight male champions; and we have all heard of the pain statistics that a woman goes through during birth.
But let's take it back a little bit... Okay, back a lot... Back to biblical times, and creation in general.
In the book of Abraham we read, "And the Gods said: Let us make an help meet for the man, for it is not good that the man should be alone, therefore we will form an help meet for him." (5:14)
Ah, ha! There's proof! Woman was created to help man! God said it Himself!
For almost my entire life, I've read that verse and made a conjoined word of "Help-meet." I figured it was biblical language and so I just formed the obvious definition as "a person who helps" and continued on in my studying.
Recently, I was surprised to discover a definition for "meet" in the Bible Dictionary. "Meet: Fitting, proper, qualified, suitable."
Wait, what?
Look at those perfect words. Fitting. Proper. Qualified. and Suitable.
All of those words are synonymous with equal.
For something to fit, it has to be equal to the corresponding object. Not too big, not too small. Equal. If not, there can be no bond formed! It will be uneven, broken, or incorrect.
All of these defining words show the harmonious nature of both man and woman.
Yes, man was created first, but soon after, woman was created in the equal place by his side. Not in the front or behind him.
I've heard it said before that there was a specific purpose to God taking a rib to create Eve. (Note: The following is opinion alone, not doctrine.) He could have taken virtually any part of Adam to create her, and yet he chose a rib. Why? To demonstrate from the very beginning that she would be at his side. He didn't take from the head or from the feet, suggesting either that she was more or less important, but something that would place her forever and equally next to him.
The topic of such competition can vary widely, from sports, to cooking, races, to innovation. But today I'm going to focus on the age old question- "Who's better- man or woman?"
I'm sure as you read that, an answer automatically pops into your head. Whether it be male or female, I'm sure you also have validation for that opinion.
"Well," you may reason, "Men are naturally stronger than women, so obviously they are superior."
Or, you may think something like this,
"Women can give birth! Let's see a man handle that!"
Both thoughts are valid opinions, and have some pretty convincing evidence to support them. We can all think of examples of heavy weight male champions; and we have all heard of the pain statistics that a woman goes through during birth.
But let's take it back a little bit... Okay, back a lot... Back to biblical times, and creation in general.
In the book of Abraham we read, "And the Gods said: Let us make an help meet for the man, for it is not good that the man should be alone, therefore we will form an help meet for him." (5:14)
Ah, ha! There's proof! Woman was created to help man! God said it Himself!
For almost my entire life, I've read that verse and made a conjoined word of "Help-meet." I figured it was biblical language and so I just formed the obvious definition as "a person who helps" and continued on in my studying.
Recently, I was surprised to discover a definition for "meet" in the Bible Dictionary. "Meet: Fitting, proper, qualified, suitable."
Wait, what?
Look at those perfect words. Fitting. Proper. Qualified. and Suitable.
All of those words are synonymous with equal.
For something to fit, it has to be equal to the corresponding object. Not too big, not too small. Equal. If not, there can be no bond formed! It will be uneven, broken, or incorrect.
All of these defining words show the harmonious nature of both man and woman.
Yes, man was created first, but soon after, woman was created in the equal place by his side. Not in the front or behind him.
I've heard it said before that there was a specific purpose to God taking a rib to create Eve. (Note: The following is opinion alone, not doctrine.) He could have taken virtually any part of Adam to create her, and yet he chose a rib. Why? To demonstrate from the very beginning that she would be at his side. He didn't take from the head or from the feet, suggesting either that she was more or less important, but something that would place her forever and equally next to him.
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