Take a second and think about Thanksgiving. What's on the table? Are there decorations around the house? Who all is with you? Chances are that you're thinking about a Thanksgiving that you have already experienced. Either from your childhood, or more recently.
It's amazing how much of our lives are shaped by traditions and cultures. During childhood, we are influenced by the traditions of our parents, and grandparents. These could include holiday observance, special recipes for foods, or something as simple as whether the toilet paper roll will go over or under. During these first years of our lives, we are molded and shaped by these familial traditions, and they become a part of who we are as individuals.
Fast forward to young adulthood, and you typically have a span of time as an individual. Perhaps in college, a person is faced with time to figure out what their interests are s an individual, and what traditions they will keep.
Then comes marriage. The unity between two people is a monumental time, and also a time of serious change. Not only do two people come together, but two families are in a sense forever connected afterwards.
Marriage is a time when traditions and cultures are recreated. Two people have been raised and molded by their families of origin, and now they have come together to form a family of creation. Where they will have their own children, and create their own traditions.
It's an amazing cycle that repeats itself over and over.
In your family of creation, you can decide on values and traditions from both families that you'd like to keep, but also aspects that you would like to leave out. It's yours for the designing, and there isn't a set way to do it, or not to do it. That's the wonderful thing about families. They are all unique and individual, and are taken one step at a time.
Sunday, October 11, 2015
Family Systems theory
Howdy howdy,
So when you read that title, "Family Systems Theory," what comes to mind? Maybe you've heard about it before, maybe not. But whatever your background may be on the subject, I figured I'd talk a little bit about it today...
This theory was introduced by Dr. Murrey Bowen, who explained that individuals could not be understood individually. That to understand human nature, we had to examine family interaction.
When I first heard that, I thought that it was pretty interesting, but had my doubts. How could we not understand someone as an individual? But as I thought more about it, I realized that of course you can't. Human beings aren't meant to be solitary creatures. We are born into a family, and then raised until an age where we can take care of ourselves, and also find another to share our life with and create a new family. It's the circle of life here on this blue world we call home.
So, naturally, to truly get a grasp of human nature in it's purest form, we have to take a look at the family.
So what exactly is a family? Well, according to Bowen's theory, a family is a system composed of many subsystems and roles. According to relationship agreements, there are rules to follow and members will act in a certain way according to their agreements.
So you have your parental system, your marital system, and many other little sub-systems involved. And everyone plays an integral part to complete and add to the family system overall. But as with anything, the roles will change and flow as time passes. A change in employment, change in overall health, or perhaps moving into a new house will change roles and authorities in the Family.
What's most important to remember, though, is that the sum of the whole is greater than each individual part.
Take a second and imagine your favorite flavor of cake. Imagine that there's one right in front of you. It looks perfect, doesn't it?
To get that cake, there's a balance of ingredients that are put together and prepared in order to make that cake. You wouldn't just imagine flour or icing, you imagine all of it together in harmony.
There are many different ways that a family can be defined. Not everyone is married, or has children, but we all have connections with either extended family or even close friends. Familial bonds go deeper than a title or blood relation, and it's amazing to think about how big our families truly are in the big picture.
So when you read that title, "Family Systems Theory," what comes to mind? Maybe you've heard about it before, maybe not. But whatever your background may be on the subject, I figured I'd talk a little bit about it today...
This theory was introduced by Dr. Murrey Bowen, who explained that individuals could not be understood individually. That to understand human nature, we had to examine family interaction.
When I first heard that, I thought that it was pretty interesting, but had my doubts. How could we not understand someone as an individual? But as I thought more about it, I realized that of course you can't. Human beings aren't meant to be solitary creatures. We are born into a family, and then raised until an age where we can take care of ourselves, and also find another to share our life with and create a new family. It's the circle of life here on this blue world we call home.
So, naturally, to truly get a grasp of human nature in it's purest form, we have to take a look at the family.
So what exactly is a family? Well, according to Bowen's theory, a family is a system composed of many subsystems and roles. According to relationship agreements, there are rules to follow and members will act in a certain way according to their agreements.
So you have your parental system, your marital system, and many other little sub-systems involved. And everyone plays an integral part to complete and add to the family system overall. But as with anything, the roles will change and flow as time passes. A change in employment, change in overall health, or perhaps moving into a new house will change roles and authorities in the Family.
What's most important to remember, though, is that the sum of the whole is greater than each individual part.
Take a second and imagine your favorite flavor of cake. Imagine that there's one right in front of you. It looks perfect, doesn't it?
To get that cake, there's a balance of ingredients that are put together and prepared in order to make that cake. You wouldn't just imagine flour or icing, you imagine all of it together in harmony.
There are many different ways that a family can be defined. Not everyone is married, or has children, but we all have connections with either extended family or even close friends. Familial bonds go deeper than a title or blood relation, and it's amazing to think about how big our families truly are in the big picture.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)